It’s time again for a serious Sunday post.
According to the news, the so-called bipartisan Iraqi Study Group headed by Baker and Hamilton will be announcing their recommendations soon. Those recommendations are roughly the same as the ones I made in this blog on October 23rd. I assume that Baker and Hamilton are regular readers.
My recommendations in my post titled Quitting Iraq looked like this:
1. Announce the pullout on the same day that Saddam Hussein (presumably) gets executed. [The Iraqi Study Group’s timing is eerily similar.]
2. Give no timetable for COMPLETION of the pullout. Make the timing a tactical decision for your generals. Admit that it could take years to withdraw smartly. [The Iraqi Study Group will recommend 2008 as a soft target for the majority of the withdrawal. Troops will remain as trainers and on bases without a timetable. In other words, it will be a tactical withdrawal.]
3. Announce that America has given Iraq the OPPORTUNITY for democracy, and that is the most that any country can do for another. [It’s obvious that we’ll do that.]
4. Make it clear to the Sunni minority that when America leaves, the Shiite majority will be free to handle things their own way. [That couldn’t be much clearer to the Sunnis. The U.S. has reportedly recently stopped trying to negotiate with them.]
5. Apologize to the Iraqi people for mistakes made and lives lost. [The Bush administration won’t do that, but many Americans probably will. In fact, I might do it myself.]
6. Let Iran dominate southern Iraq. [The Iraq Study Group is recommending direct engagement with Iran and Syria to help stabilize Iraq, presumably in return for influence.]
There’s no guarantee that the Adams-Baker-Hamilton recommendations will be adopted. And if adopted, there’s no guarantee they will work out well. I only mention the Iraqi Study Group recommendations to give my critics on this blog an opportunity to apologize for the mean things they said about my lack of qualifications. Those comments were along these lines:
- Stick to comics, you brain-dead baboon.
- Leave politics to the experts!
- Every time you write, it reminds me how stupid you are.
- I have lost all respect for you because of your dumbass opinions.
I suppose you could call it luck that my opinion was the same as the experts’ opinions and came first. Or I suppose you could accuse the Iraqi Study Group of being brain-dead baboons who never bothered to talk to anyone in Iraq before they made their recommendation. But the more rational approach would be to leave a comment acknowledging my borderline divine powers while apologizing for doubting my wisdom.
Neener-neener.
Post from Dilbert Blog